Friday, May 20, 2011

This Time, I Mean It

Every New Year, summer, and September I go through what I like to call the "Get Skinny" plan. I attach whatever year to the end of it (I think I first began with "Get Skinny 2008!") and then begin my regimen diet, exercise, and bragging about how I'm going to "get skinny" by the end of whatever arbitrary date I set. But, needless to say, it never works.

Get Skinny 2009! was as close as I've ever come to whatever body image I imagine for myself. That was the year I joined Weight Watchers and walked for at least 45 minutes every day. It was a great plan, and I lost weight and gained confidence, and felt really healthy and accomplished and good. I've since fallen off the wagon, gained back most of what I lost, and rarely even make an effort to eat well.

Maybe it's because its summer, or maybe my friends have suddenly become more interested in being active than I remember them ever being before, or maybe I'm just more aware of how uncoordinated and awkward I am trying to be sporty and physically fit, BUT I've decided to make some drastic lifestyle overhauls. Stuff just got serious.

I've slowly become aware of the fact that I have a serious commitment issue. I have, for as long as I can remember and in varying degrees, recoiled from commitment. I've quit many extra-curricular activities because I hated the weekly commitment; I've only had jobs that had a set end date when I begun; I make wishy-washy responses to events, unsure if I'll want to attend when the time comes around; I adamantly tell people to quit jobs or degrees or relationships that are hard or uncomfortable or "not good enough"; I change my desktop background on my computer twice a week; I left Newfoundland so I could be 100% commitment free.

I don't like this about myself, and I think it's part of why I feel so unstable in my life. And so I'm going to work at changing it. I think commitment instills values of loyalty and dedication, time management, prioritizing, and teaches you to work through difficulties rather than quitting when things get hard. I am going to face my commitment fears head on. As part of this new commitment routine, dear reader, I am going to commit to writing a blog post twice a week, so I can write more and produce more and feel accomplished.

I am making a commitment to myself to live healthier. I've always wanted to run the Tely 10, and I'm making a commitment to myself that I will be dedicated to learning how to run. I will be committed, no matter how boring or routine or hard it becomes.

And this time, I mean it.

Jillz

PS - my friend Sarah is an amazing and frequent blogger, and you should check her out. She gave tips on how to blog well a few days ago, and I follow none of them. Oops. Here's a link to her blog, and also her current contest giveaway!

6 comments:

Carolyn Boone said...

My only advice to you is to be careful. I had it in my head I wanted to run, and I've been battling with shin splints for 5 weeks now. Take your time, walk a lot, and slowly work into running, making sure you stretch before and after. And good luck!!

robynmchugh said...

This makes me so very happy!! You should download Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred video. I did one session with one of my friends and it was so intense, but Jillian keeps encouraging you not to stop, and she actually makes you want to listen!I'm not very good at keeping to commitments if I'm on my own because I always quit. I have commitment issues too, trust me!

I'm going to look forward to your twice weekly blog posts. :)

Aunt Janis said...

Commitment issues ??? It's an epidemic in today's immediate gratification-minded society...(wanna buy a used ring ?? Ha) You're also a very determined person...& will do great ! Don't let the hiccups get u down...keep going. Oh, FYI, the zealots are saying the world will end tomorrow...nice Birthday gift ! p.s. Did u get real "mail"...xo Love, Auntie Janis

Sara said...

Jillian
Good luck with this. Since January I have done a "lifestyle change". Cut down on the bad stuff and focus on eating the good stuff. I have also started walking and dancing again. the best part about this is that I feel better!

inspiredbytheordinary said...

YAY! I' so excited to read more blog posts from you Jillian! I love your posts. I ind I have similar commitment issues. I have a fear of looking dumb so I just won't start to exercise. I'm slowly getting over this though. Best of luck dearest friend!

Brittany :)

Anonymous said...

You can join Weight Watchers with me and join me in my walks? You can do it! You did it before!

But I think you are gorgeous anyway! But I'm just your mother - I'm supposed to think that way ~!!

Moulie