Every New Year, summer, and September I go through what I like to call the "Get Skinny" plan. I attach whatever year to the end of it (I think I first began with "Get Skinny 2008!") and then begin my regimen diet, exercise, and bragging about how I'm going to "get skinny" by the end of whatever arbitrary date I set. But, needless to say, it never works.
Get Skinny 2009! was as close as I've ever come to whatever body image I imagine for myself. That was the year I joined Weight Watchers and walked for at least 45 minutes every day. It was a great plan, and I lost weight and gained confidence, and felt really healthy and accomplished and good. I've since fallen off the wagon, gained back most of what I lost, and rarely even make an effort to eat well.
Maybe it's because its summer, or maybe my friends have suddenly become more interested in being active than I remember them ever being before, or maybe I'm just more aware of how uncoordinated and awkward I am trying to be sporty and physically fit, BUT I've decided to make some drastic lifestyle overhauls. Stuff just got serious.
I've slowly become aware of the fact that I have a serious commitment issue. I have, for as long as I can remember and in varying degrees, recoiled from commitment. I've quit many extra-curricular activities because I hated the weekly commitment; I've only had jobs that had a set end date when I begun; I make wishy-washy responses to events, unsure if I'll want to attend when the time comes around; I adamantly tell people to quit jobs or degrees or relationships that are hard or uncomfortable or "not good enough"; I change my desktop background on my computer twice a week; I left Newfoundland so I could be 100% commitment free.
I don't like this about myself, and I think it's part of why I feel so unstable in my life. And so I'm going to work at changing it. I think commitment instills values of loyalty and dedication, time management, prioritizing, and teaches you to work through difficulties rather than quitting when things get hard. I am going to face my commitment fears head on. As part of this new commitment routine, dear reader, I am going to commit to writing a blog post twice a week, so I can write more and produce more and feel accomplished.
I am making a commitment to myself to live healthier. I've always wanted to run the Tely 10, and I'm making a commitment to myself that I will be dedicated to learning how to run. I will be committed, no matter how boring or routine or hard it becomes.
And this time, I mean it.
PS - my friend Sarah is an amazing and frequent blogger, and you should check her out. She gave tips on how to blog well a few days ago, and I follow none of them. Oops. Here's a link to her blog, and also her current contest giveaway!