On Friendship

A few posts ago, I wrote a tribute of sorts to my friends. I find it hard sometimes to truly express how much I care about my friends. It's socially acceptable, thanks to the Hollywoodization of romantic relationships, to tell people who you're dating or wish you were dating or about to marry or breaking up with how much you love them or did love them or plan to love them until the end of time. And as important as romantic love is to individuals, couples, and the world at large (and I do not deny its importance), friends generally make up the largest percentage of people in your life, thus they are vital to who you are at your core. And I love my friends. I really, really love them.

I was talking to my friend Valerie the other day, and we started talking about the idea of chemistry between friends, and how there are people with whom you have chemistry and people with whom you don't. The kind of "spark" that exists between romantic couples also happens between friends, which is interesting, if you think about it.

It doesn't happen often, at least not for me. I get along with most people that I meet, and there are a lot of people who I truly adore for their hearts and their humour. But there have been a select few people who I've met with whom I've instantly clicked. Whether it's their humour or their insight or just the way they talk, sometimes people who you just really, really like, just because they exist. These people aren't my closest friends - in fact, I don't even talk to most of them anymore. Circumstances change and people move in and out of your life, but I remember our jokes fondly, often while walking alone and causing passer-bys to stare at the girl giggling to herself, and think about them often.

Friendship is weird like that. It comes in seasons. Some friends are there for life, some only for a month or two. Sometimes friendships end abruptly, and can feel like a break-up. Sometimes friends hang on to a relationship for too long past its expiry date and become an annoyance to each other. Some people disappear from your life for long stretches of time, only to resume where you left of when you see them again. Some friends you fight with, and that's how you function. Some friends are movie buddies; some people you call friend because you enjoy texting them. Some friends have a place in your heart forever because of shared experience. Some friends listen to you talk about your problems; in some friendships, you're the listener. Some friends make you want to be a better person, and some friends make you realize who you do not want to be.

My point, and I do have one, is that relationships are complicated. Our society spends a lot of time focusing on romance and love relationships, but friendships are just as important to nurture and talk about. Friendship is not an obligation, it is a privilege. I really believe that. I believe friendships are sacred, and they require attention and care.

So to all my friends, past and present: I love you, and thank you for making me who I am, and helping me become who I want to be.

Jillz

Comments

Sarah said…
This post could have came straight from my heart!

It reminded me a lot of this excerpt from a zine: http://hello-amber.tumblr.com/post/949609305/vincentwilde-via-negativepunxvxpts-an

See you soon perhaps?

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