Sometimes you get stuck in a rut.
You want things to change, to grow, to be better. You want yourself to be better. You want to make changes and to start all the things you set out to do and finish everything on your to do list. You see what your life could be and you want so badly to become it.
But you get stuck, rooted in the place where you are, so all that you want to be becomes all that you once were. Your routine becomes all that you can manage, and that itself is often too great of a task sometimes. And all of this stagnation is exhausting and infuriating and it seems better and easier and perhaps even predestined that you will be who you were forever.
These past two days have made me feel, for the first time in a long time, that I don't have to be who I thought I was, and that I don't have to become myself all alone.